“Stupid Quotes”
9 Dec 2021
Archive [February 2000]
“America is about fresh starts and we need a fresh start. We need a new beginning.” — AL GORE, TO UAW MEMBERS, TO RAUCOUS APPLAUSE, ON FNC’S “SPECIAL REPORT” AND AP
True. Vote Republican.
“I just want to milk every last moment of every day. I wish that God would give me the capacity to function for a year without sleep. That would make me very happy. But I think it is highly unlikely, therefore I will keep trying to get some.” — BILL CLINTON TO REPORTERS IN THE OVAL OFFICE, REUTERS
Get some what?
“The clearest way to know whether you are with a poor person in America is not by the logo on the clothes, because we all wear pretty much the same anymore. It’s by looking into their eyes and seeing whether they look into yours, and seeing what kind of teeth they have.” — HILLARY CLINTON, AT A MEETING FOR JESSE JACKSON’S RAINBOW PUSH WALL STREET PROJECT, AP
Tips from the smartest woman in America on how to know if you are with a poor person.
“She seems to be thawing out.” — GABE PRESSMAN, NEW YORK REPORTER AND PRESIDENT OF THE NEW YORK PRESS CLUB, ON HILLARY CLINTON, QUOTED IN THE NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
True, just ask Suha Arafat.
“I met you and your husband once before [but] I had the sense that … he regards me as a boob.” — DAVID LETTERMAN TO HILLARY CLINTON, ON CBS’S “LATE SHOW”
Bad word choice, if you ask me…
“The question is, what are we going to do now? What will you do as citizens when I am no longer here and I’m just a citizen like you?” — BILL CLINTON, IN SPEECH, PONDERING HIS FUTURE, QUOTED IN THE [LONDON] TELEGRAPH
Is this a trick question?
“You can’t walk into the Senate and have a disagreement with somebody and say that you’re going to fire them or sue them.” — HILLARY CLINTON, CHARGING THAT RUDY GIULIANI WOULD BE DIFFICULT TO WORK WITH, QUOTED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES
Thank you, Mrs. Congeniality.
“We really are a typical family, you know, where Hillary wants to, you know, find something we’re going to watch and watch it, you know? And I want to have the remote and keep switching the channels. And we have had, we have the same arguments every family has, you know. And we have the prototypical stereotypes, you know? I’m the guy with the remote.” — BILL CLINTON, ASKED ABOUT HIS TV-WATCHING HABITS, INTERVIEW ON ESPN
And the ashtray upside the head.
“What I want to do is … for the rest of my life, try to be a good and useful citizen.” — BILL CLINTON, AP
Why start now?
“Marriage has got historic, religious and moral content that goes back to the beginning of time, and I think a marriage is as a marriage has always been, between a man and a woman.” — HILLARY CLINTON, OPPOSING SAME-SEX MARRIAGES, QUOTED IN THE NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
Just what we need. A lecture from Hillary Clinton on the moral content of marriage.
“One has to be very, very careful not to be an unwitting party to making what most people consider to be unfashionably liberal ideas appear to be more unpopular than they really are.” — WARREN BEATTY, DECLARING HE WILL NOT RUN FOR PRESIDENT, IN VANITY FAIR
Huh??
“The country can ill-afford big mistakes by a President who stumbles into something that could be avoided with the kind of judgment and experience that our people ought to have the right to expect in any President.” — AL GORE, IN NEW HAMPSHIRE, DEBATE WITH BILL BRADLEY, NEW YORK TIMES TRANSCRIPT
Anyone spring to mind?
“We went through decades of Red-hunting, Red-baiting, fear of Communists and then all of a sudden the Berlin Wall, that symbol of everything that happened … fell.” — GWEN IFILL, HOST, ON PBS’S “WASHINGTON WEEK IN REVIEW”
Magic!
“You’re selling what ain’t nobody buying. It’s so ’80s.” — PAUL BEGALA, CRITICIZING REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES FOR ADVOCATING TAX CUTS, ON MSNBC’S “EQUAL TIME”
One of the best things about the ’80s — in addition to prosperity — was that nobody was buying what liberals were selling. It was so ’60s.
“This is the only time in my lifetime we’ve had a booming economy.” — BILL CLINTON, DURING YET ANOTHER ANTI-POVERTY TOUR, UPI
Guess you were too busy in the Astroturf to notice the post-war boom, the Kennedy tax-cut boom, and the Reagan tax-cut boom.
“I would want to be defined as someone who unites, not divides.” — HILLARY CLINTON, MEETING WITH AL SHARPTON, QUOTED IN THE WASHINGTON TIMES
Too late.
“They can’t get a loan for the home they dream of, they can’t get the credit. There are too many places where a white person got an advantage.” — HILLARY CLINTON, LISTING OPPORTUNITIES SHE SAID WERE TOO OFTEN DENIED TO MINORITIES, INCLUDING HOME-MORTGAGE LOANS, QUOTED IN THE WASHINGTON TIMES
Like Chappaqua?
“If you are that hard-working, middle-class family that has a wife and husband working sometimes two jobs, you are just a couple paychecks away from having serious economic problems — of losing your health insurance, of not being able to send your child to college.” — BILL BRADLEY, IN TELEVISION AD
Crisis! Doom and gloom! Liberalism!
“It’s easy to see that you can be extremely loyal to something bad. Loyalty is not a virtue when it is misapplied.” — JAMES CARVILLE, FROM HIS NEW BOOK STICKIN’: THE CASE FOR LOYALTY
To a liar, for instance?
“[President Clinton and Vice President Gore] have worked hard for the last seven years to improve the lives of African-Americans and Hispanics. On the other hand, the Republicans bring out Colin Powell and J.C. Watts because they have no program, no policy. They play that game because they have no other game. They have no love and no joy. They’d rather take pictures with black children than feed them. — DONNA BRAZILE, GORE CAMPAIGN MANAGER, IN AN INTERVIEW WITH BLOOMBERG.COM
If they’ve done so much to improve lives, why is Clinton on his 87th poverty tour?
“I regretted the way he heard Donna’s comments.” — AL GORE, WHEN ASKED BY KATIE COURIC IF HE APOLOGIZED TO GEN. POWELL FOR BRAZILE’S COMMENTS, ON NBC’S “TODAY”
Get it? What Brazile said is Gen. Powell’s fault. Isn’t liberalism great?
“I think what Donna Brazile said was factually true.” — AL GORE, REUTERS
Where’s the love? The joy?
“I hope you are not going to spend the whole evening staring at her boobs.” — ELIZABETH TAYLOR TO BILL CLINTON AT WHITE HOUSE NEW YEAR’S EVE DINNER, AS THE PRESIDENT FOCUSED ON SOPHIA LOREN. ACCORDING TO A “WELL-CONNECTED DEMOCRATIC GUEST,” THE PRESIDENT REPLIED: “I DON’T DO THAT ANYMORE.” “BULL—,” SNAPPED TAYLOR, QUOTED IN THE WASHINGTON TIMES
Memo to Liz: Watch your back.
“In the general election, [Gov. Bush] will have to give a speech where he talks about the role religion would play in the Oval Office and reassures people that his view of faith would not dictate his political and governing decisions.” — GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS, ON BUSH’S DEBATE RESPONSES TO QUESTIONS ON RELIGION: “WHAT WORDS DIDN’T YOU HEAR IN GOVERNOR BUSH’S ANSWER? THE SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE, TOLERANCE, HUMILITY.” ON ABC’S “NIGHTLINE”
Yeah. That’s what Americans worry about most when it comes to the Oval Office. They’re terrified that a President might be on his knees, praying or something. No problem, of course, with an intern on her knees giving a Lewinsky…
“I’m a cheese person. — HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON, AS SHE MADE A PURCHASE AT A ROCHESTER, NY, DELI, AP
Rats.
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