“I’ve decided that being me is more important than being anything else.” — Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D, NY), cnn special

Be all you can be, Evita.

“It hasn’t quite worked out as we thought.” — Rick Stengel, former Obama State Department staffer, on Biden’s Afghanistan mess, msnbc

Everyone but the Obama-Biden “experts” knew how this would turn out.

“The message from the international community to those on the warpath must be clear: seizing power through military force is a losing proposition.” — António Guterres, UN Secretary-General, calling on the Taliban “to immediately halt the offensive” as it took over the country, quoted in The Hill

Seizing power through military force works, every time, against an America run by liberals.

“The Taliban is not the North Vietnamese Army. They’re not remotely comparable in terms of capability. There’s going to be no circumstances where you’re going to see people being lifted off the roof of an embassy in the United States from Afghanistan.” — Joe Biden, quoted in The Hill

Biden’s record of being dead wrong about everything is unblemished.

“You always know something’s not going well when a country will not allow their people to be engaged and be on the internet, and being able to make their case known around the world.” — Joe Biden, referring to Cuba, whitehouse.gov

Look in the mirror, Joe Castro.

“You’re the same ones, after a ballgame in a visiting field, that come walking out of the gym if you won, and you may get jumped by the other team or their supporters. You may be all by yourself — the only one standing there when you watch six people jump one of our teammates. What the hell would you do? You’d jump in. You’d jump in, knowing you’re going to get the hell beat of you too.” — Joe Biden, medal ceremony for Capitol police, whitehouse.gov

From Joe Biden’s forthcoming book, Sports Lessons from Corn Pop.

“I used to drive an 18-wheeler, man.” — Joe Biden, during visit to Mack Truck facility in Pennsylvania, Sky News. The White House later explained that Biden once rode in an 18-wheeler in 1973.

From Joe Biden’s forthcoming sequel, Road Trips with Corn Pop.

“The question is whether or not we should be in a position where you uh um are, why can’t the, the, the experts say we know that this virus is, in fact uh, um, uh, is, is it’s going to be, or, excuse me, we, we know why all the drugs approved are not temporarily approved but permanently approved.” — Joe Biden, cnn town hall, video via Twitter

Now that you finally got the question out, what’s your answer? Take your time.

“Think of the people, if your kid wanted to find out whether or not there were — there’s a man on the moon or whatever, you know, something, or, you know, whether those aliens are here or not, you know, who are the people they talk to, beyond the kids who love talking about it?” — Joe Biden, cnn town hall, video via Twitter

Yes, those aliens are here. Because you opened the border.

“Biden’s Summer of Joy Turns Into Frustration.” — Roll Call, on crashing economic and consumer confidence numbers as well as international and border chaos

Remember 2010, when Obama put Biden in charge of “recovery summer”? That tanked, too.

“It’s a Shakespearean fall from grace for ‘America’s governor,’ a man who had been widely discussed as a possible Attorney General, Vice Presidential — or even Presidential — contender. He drew widespread acclaim for his fireside-chat-style pandemic briefings, which earned him an Emmy, a book deal, and comparisons to … Franklin D. Roosevelt.” — “Cuomo’s Fall from Grace,” Politico

Shakespearean fall? No, a Harvey Weinstein fall. Andrew Cuomo was never that great.

“We’ve got to shake people at this point and say, ‘Come on now.’ We tried voluntary… Free testing… Incentives. Friendly, warm embrace. The voluntary phase is over… Voluntary alone doesn’t work. It’s time for [covid] mandates.” — Mayor Bill de Blasio (D, NY), on msnbc

Scratch any leftist and his inner tyrant comes out.

“Screw your freedom.” — Arnold Schwarzenegger, who also said, “Don’t be a schmuck. Put on a mask,” quoted at Breitbart

From the guy whose motto used to be, “Screw your maid.”

“covid Could Be Spread Through Flatulence, Say [Health] Ministers.” — The [UK] Telegraph

Ewww. But — remember when China performed anal covid swab tests on U.S. diplomats?

“A Doomsday covid Variant Worse Than Delta and Lambda May Be Coming, Scientists Say.” — Newsweek, “The Doomsday Variant”

The same scientists who will no doubt prescribe daily doomsday vaccine boosters. Applied anally.

“covid-19 Variants Could Be Named After Constellations Once Greek Alphabet Is Used Up, who Official Says.” — Sky News

Because you can’t wait to scare people with the Andromeda Strain.

“The signs you have the Delta variant are different than original covid-19: One expert says if symptoms are mild, you could confuse your illness for allergies.” — The Hill

Maybe it’s the Little Dipper variant.

“We’re building a politics of love. Because I love you, I care that you have food to eat. I care that you have a roof over your head. I care that you have what you need to thrive. That’s how our government should work.” — Rep. Cori Bush, on Twitter

Don’t confuse “love” with self-serving hypocrisy, Cori. Oops. Too late.

“If we open up the journalism ethics book, there’s no page for this. It’s the craziest set of circumstances you can imagine.” — Brian Stelter, cnn media reporter, boggled by how the network should have handled its nightly “Chris and Andy” Cuomo brothers schtick, on cbs’ “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert,” video via Twitter

Don’t be ridiculous. No one at cnn has ever seen a “journalism ethics” book.

“Mikkelson attributed this [plagiarizing] behavior to his lack of formal journalism experience. ‘I didn’t come from a journalism background,’ he said.” — BuzzFeed News, on at least 54 instances of plagiarism by David Mikkelson, co-founder and 50 percent shareholder of “fact-checking” site Snopes

Nope, the bad behavior is due to the fact that you are a raging leftist.

“I’m going to make sure I have security because I know I have had attempts on my life. And I have too much work to do; there are too many people that need help right now for me to allow that. So if I end up spending $200,000, if I spend ten-ten-ten more dollars on it, you know what, I get to be here to do the work. So, suck it up. And defunding the police has to happen.” — Rep. Cori Bush (D, MO), aoc “Squad” member, defending private security for herself — staffed by off-duty cops — while advocating fewer cops for everyone else, video via Townhall.com

Ever since Bill Clinton, the Democrat Party in a nutshell: “Suck it up.”

“Scientists Make Shocking Discovery of ‘Dead Zones’ Where Nothing Can Live on Two U.S. Coasts.” — The Hill

Not really shocking.

“Sharks get a bad rap. So researchers and officials are rethinking the phrase ‘shark attacks’ to describe the moments when sharks and humans meet — instead adopting terms like ‘incidents’ and ‘encounters’ to help change public perception of the animals.” — The New York Times

Sharks have the same PR team as Antifa.

“My dear friend Barack Obama is turning 60… For his birthday gift, I’m asking you to chip in $6 or $60 to help us bring the Obama Presidential Center to life in Chicago… #HappyBdayObama.” — Valerie Jarrett, Obama’s Rasputin, raising cash on Twitter

How about asking your dear friends to chip in to help the families of those whose lives are taken by Chicago thugs every day?

“The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine [abm] has issued guidelines that suggest employing such terms as ‘chestfeeding,’ ‘human milk feeding,’ and ‘parent’s milk’ to promote what it calls ‘gender-inclusive language.’ … ‘abm recognizes that not all people who give birth and lactate identify as female…’ Alternatives for ‘breast milk’ include … ‘father’s milk.’” — The Washington Times

Sorry, only women can give birth and nurse babies. And who knew breastfeeding required an “academy”?

“Sex should be removed as a legal designation on the public part of birth certificates, the American Medical Association said.” — WebMD

“Doctor” should be removed as a legal designation for those at the ama pushing this insanity.

Photos: AOC: ©2021 Shutterstock/Michael Brochstein/SOPA Images; Afghanistan photo screen gram from Sudhir Chaudhary video; Biden photos ©2021 Shutterstock/Sarah Silbiger/UPI/Amy Sancetta/AP; Bush: ©2021 Shutterstock/Bill Greenblatt/UPI; Jarrett: ©2021 Shutterstock/Diane Bondareff/AP; Mikkelson: ©2021 Getty Images/Stephen Osman/Contributor; Schwarzenegger: ©2021 Shutterstock/Karl Schoendorfer; Stelter: ©2021 Shutterstock/AFF-USA; Vietnam photo ©2021 Getty Images