“Before corona, after corona. This is changing everything … [P]ollution is clearing up. Skies are clear. Animals are coming out. I mean you know, the earth was angry at us … I believe it in my heart and soul that we had gone too far; and earth said, ‘Hold up, we gotta change this.’ … And [in] this time that everything was shut down, the earth has come alive.” — Spike Lee, quoted at Breitbart

The only way the earth would be angry is if it had to watch one of your movies.

“We’re not going back to normal.” — Gov. Gavin Newsom (D, CA), quoted at SFGate.com

Back? You never were!

“Please, let’s not go back to normal.” — open letter signed by Madonna and other leftist celebrities pushing to get rid of “consumerism” and “productivity” in order to bring about “the radical transformation we need,” i.e., getting rid of capitalism, Le Monde

If you destroy consumerism, guess what happens to your box office?

“I don’t want to see these establishments opened back up … [T]he small businesses that are in direct contact with people, nail shops, beauty shops, barbershops, flower shops, these are people in touch with folks every day … and we don’t want them opened up.” — Rep. Maxine Waters (D, CA), quoted at Breitbart

How convenient for you, that while you ruin these businesses, you continue to draw a government paycheck.

“What is it about President Obama that really gets under your skin? Is it because he’s smarter than you? Better educated? Made it on his own? Didn’t need daddy’s help? Wife is more accomplished, better looking?” — Don Lemon, rhetorically addressing Donald Trump, on cnn, quoted at The Federalist

Speaking of spouses, Don — Michelle Obama is certainly better looking than your husband-to-be.

“A lot of our folks didn’t vote [in 2016] — it was almost a slap in the face.” — Michelle Obama, speaking to a group of black schoolchildren, quoted in The New York Post

Slapped in the face in 2016, kicked in the pants in 2020. What a life.

“I think there’s mental exhaustion around this Presidency, and I don’t know anybody who is enjoying it. I don’t know anybody who wants to do another four years of this news cycle.” — unnamed “senior cnn producer,” quoted in The Hollywood Reporter

You obviously don’t know any conservatives. We’re enjoying it immensely.

“Voter fraud is nearly mythological … You are more likely to be struck by lightning than for there to be an incident of voting fraud.” — Stacey Abrams, who used to claim vote fraud cost her the 2018 Georgia gubernatorial election, pushing for mail-in voting while lobbying to be Biden’s VP choice, quoted at Breitbart

And you are more likely to be struck by lightning than to ever become Vice President.

“Joe Biden Is Not Hiding. He’s Lurking.” — op-ed, The New York Times

Creepy.

“Joe Biden is at his best when he’s neither speaking nor appearing in public.” — Zak Cheney-Rice, New York magazine

That was Hillary Clinton’s “best” campaign strategy, too. And according to her, she won.

“Joe Biden is Joe Biden.” — Nancy Pelosi, “defending” Biden from the Tara Reade “MeToo” accusation, quoted at Real Clear Politics

Except when he forgets.

“I’m not going to answer this question again.” — Nancy Pelosi, declaring the Tara Reade allegation “a closed issue” because she believes Biden, on msnbc

“Now, will somebody please ask me about the Republican war on women?”

“I Believe Tara Reade. I’m Voting for Joe Biden Anyway. The Importance of Owning an Ugly Moral Choice.” — Linda Hirshman, op-ed in The New York Times. Ms. Hirshman wrote Reckoning: The Epic Battle Against Sexual Abuse and Harassment one year ago.

Your ugly moral choice is being a liberal. Own that.

“No, I don’t believe so at all. My son’s business dealings were not anything what everybody that he’s talking about, not even remotely, number one. Nothing to do with me, number two.” — Joe Biden, asked whether he’s vulnerable because of Hunter’s business dealings in China, cbs

Go ahead, give this exact answer when you’re on the debate stage with President Trump.

“The pandemic is that the President has no intercourse whatsoever with the rest of the coun- the, uh, the world on dealing with these things. We led, lie, Barack Obama led, in the uh corona, I mean excuse me, in-in-in-in the pandemic that occurred when we were in office, it was kept in Africa. We organized the world. We put things together.” — Joe Biden, on msnbc

What?

“I know nothing about those moves [by the fbi] to investigate Michael Flynn, number one. Number two, this is all about diversion … I’m sorry. I-I-I-I was aware that there was, that there, that they asked for an investigation, but that’s all I know about it, and I don’t think anything else, look.” — Joe Biden, sighing heavily, first claiming ignorance and then changing his tune when reminded he was in a January 5, 2017, Oval Office meeting with President Obama being briefed about the Flynn investigation, on abc’s “Good Morning America”

What?

“The way that you run a Presidential campaign is you’re a pirate ship. You’re always calculating. You’re always taking wind speed and direction. You seize and you loot and you burn. And that’s just the way it is.” — James Carville, rant on msnbc

Yeah, that’s a heck of a pirate ship docked in the Biden basement right now.

“They [the Trump team] are just riding low in the water … And my advice is get ready. Hit them, hit them, and then hit them again.” — James Carville, msnbc

If you’re relying on Cap’n Joe “Blackbeard” Biden, you’re sunk. 

“The idea is not just to beat him. It is to end the scourge of Trumpism in this country forever. And we can do that. It’s within our grasp right now. Right now!” — James Carville, msnbc

Your cannonballs are too small to get the job done.

“So what if Joe Biden sucks at digital media?” — Politico, claiming “it doesn’t matter that Trump is beating Biden online,” on Twitter

Now there’s a campaign slogan for you.

“Our basic understanding of rule of law is at risk.” — Barack Obama, decrying the Justice Department dropping charges against Michael Flynn, leaked audio, quoted at Yahoo

Your “basic understanding of rule of law” is to subvert it.

“Biden Warns Against Coronavirus Stimulus Corruption.” — Reuters

Solution: keep Hunter away.

Photos ©2020 Shutterstock: Lee: John Salangsang/BEI; Madonna: Jason Szenes/EPA-EFE; Abrams: Robert F Bukaty/AP; Obama: Vincent Thian/AP; Pelosi: Patrick Semansky/AP; Biden: Evan Vucci/AP; Biden: Michael Brochstein/SOPA Images; both Carville photos: Andrew Harnik/AP; Obama: Vincent Thian/AP