Archive [September 1999]

“So I followed her out of this class, and I got right behind her and I said, ‘No, this is nothing but trouble,’ and I turned around and walked off.”— BILL CLINTON, RECOUNTING HIS INITIAL REACTION TO STUDENT HILLARY RODHAM, REUTERS

What a bunch of poppycock. Bill Clinton has never walked away from trouble in his whole life.

“[T]he longest and most difficult military campaign in the 50-year history of NATO.” — BILL CLINTON, ON KOSOVO, AT THE 100TH MEETING OF THE VETERANS OF FOREIGN WARS, WHITE HOUSE PRESS OFFICE

Greatly overshadowing that minor dustup known as the Cold War.

“This is a couple who share the passion for the world, for doing good for politics, for making life better for other people. This is their great bond, and it really has brought them together with almost a sort of spiritual intensity.” — TINA BROWN, TALK EDITOR, ON THE CLINTONS, CNS

That, and FBI files.

“Public office has prevented the President from seeking therapy, but friends told me they expect him to after leaving the Oval Office.” — LUCINDA FRANKS, AUTHOR OF TALK INTERVIEW WITH HILLARY CLINTON. QUOTED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES

Well if so, that’s about the only thing public office has prevented this President from seeking.

”I urged him to bomb … What do we have NATO for if not to defend our way of life?” — HILLARY CLINTON, ON HER HUSBAND, IN TALK

To change the subject?

“There was terrible conflict between his mother and grandmother. A psychologist once told me that for a boy being in the middle of a conflict between two women is the worst possible situation.” — HILLARY CLINTON, IN TALK

Wait a minute. I thought being raised by women was the best possible situation.

“This is the worst bull I’ve ever seen.” — JAMES CARVILLE, INSISTING HILLARY CUNTON NEVER CLAIMED HER HUSBAND’S SERIAL ADULTERY WAS CAUSED BY CHILDHOOD ABUSE IN HER TALK INTERVIEW. IN CLASSIFIED ADS IN THE NEW YORK DAILY NEWS AND THE WASHINGTON POST, CARVILLE OFFERED $100,000 (LATER WITHDRAWN) “TO ANY REPORTER WHO CAN SHOW ME THAT HILLARY CLINTON LINKED THE PRESIDENT’S SEXUAL MISCONDUCT WITH HIS CHILDHOOD.” CARVILLE SAYS THAT AT WORST THE FIRST LADY “ALLUDED TO THESE TWO THINGS.” QUOTED IN THE WASHINGTON POST

Not even close. Far worse bull: “Hillary, campaign finance reform zealot.”

“He was so young, barely four, when he was scarred by abuse that he can’t even take it out and look at it.” — HILARY CLINTON, ON HER HUSBAND, IN TALK

Oh, yes he can.

“Now that I’m out there raising money, I’m a zealot about campaign finance reform.” — HILLARY CLINTON, ON LISTENING TOUR, EXPRESSING “CONCERN” ABOUT THE PROBLEM OF TOO MUCH MONEY IN POLITICS. QUOTED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES

Tell it to Johnny Chung.

“She [Hillary Clinton] never makes a connection between his chaotic childhood … and his sexual infidelities.” — LUCINDA FRANKS, TALK ARTICLE AUTHOR, QUOTED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES

I guess this writer lied to her own article.

“By criminalizing prostitution we’ve really criminalized poverty … Many of these women don’t have a choice about this because their choice is whether they want to eat or starve to death.” — JOYCELYN ELDERS, FORMER SURGEON GENERAL, ADVOCATING LEGALIZED PROSTITUTION AT A “PROSTITUTION, HEALTH AND HUMAN RIGHTS SEMINAR,” AP

They could always become journalists…

”I mean, he’s a very handsome man, and he looked like a Beatle back in Yale, you can see pictures of him, I mean, he was gorgeous.” — LUCINDA FRANKS, BLAMING BILL CLINTON’S ADULTERY ON STAR-STRUCK WOMEN, CNS

Had a hard day’s night, Lucinda?

“[It] is quite wonderful in its, you know, in its interdependence of conversation, of ideas, of excitement, of chemistry, sexual chemistry.” — LUCINDA FRANKS, ON THE CLINTON MARRIAGE, CNS

Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da.

“We’re Back! Wake up and Smell the Estrogen.” — GLORIA STEINEM’S REFURBISHED MS. MAGAZINE, “ANXIOUS TO SHED ITS DOWDY, MENOPAUSAL IMAGE,” QUOTED IN SALON

Zzzzzzzzz.

“Many of those who spent the last 6 ½ years telling the American people I had no business being President now say: ‘Oh, well, Clinton’s like Michael Jordan, he just jumps higher than the other Democrats now. The natural order of things will reassert itself, and Republicans will rule America again.’” — BILL CLINTON, AT A CINCINNATI FUNDRAISER, REUTERS

Just like Mike.

“They’re now basically saying, ‘Oh, well, Bill Clinton is like Michael Jordan — he just jumps higher than the other guys… [A]fter telling everybody for 6 ½ years what a bad guy I was, [the Republicans say,] ‘He’s gone, so we’ll put them in the cellar again.’” — BILL CLINTON, AT ASPEN, CO FUNDRAISER, AP

We got it: just like Mike.

“No one in their right mind could compare me to Michael Jordan … I can’t jump four inches.” — BILL CLINTON, CLAIMING REPUBLICANS MADE THE COMPARISON. ASKED WHO, CLINTON TOLD REPORTERS: “ONE OF MY REPUBLICAN FRIENDS, HE WAS BEING CUTE,” AP

The Michael Jordan of lying.

“It makes me feel uneasy that anyone would justify a lie for any reason.” — LANNY DAVIS, ON “THE MCLAUGHLIN GROUP”

You seem to have gotten over it.

”I don’t feel myself winding down. I feel myself keying up.” — BILL CLINTON TO REPORTERS, REFUSING TO RULE OUT A FUTURE RUN FOR OFFICE, UPI

Whoa, mama! Stay up!

”I can’t get over it… I’ve known Al Gore since the day he was born and he’s never done anything bad in his life. He’s been the best boy.” — COKIE ROBERTS, ON GORE’S “JUST AWFUL” POLL NUMBERS, “THE TEXTBOOK EXAMPLE OF LIFE’S NOT FAIR,” MSNBC

“Vote for Al — Best Boy.”

“I’ve been waiting a long time for the halo to appear.” — BILL CLINTON, AT A PRESS CONFERENCE, AFTER A REPORTER SAID: “MR. PRESIDENT, YOU DON’T KNOW IT, BUT THERE IS SUCH A BRIGHT LIGHT ON YOU — WE CAN’T SEE YOU FOR THE LIGHT,” WHITE HOUSE PRESS OFFICE

Perhaps the American Bar Association is working on it.

“Courts routinely disallow depositions of high-ranking individuals.” — DAVID KENDALL, HILLARY CLINTON’S LAWYER, ARGUING IN COURT PAPERS THAT THE FIRST LADY BE ALLOWED TO REFUSE TO TESTIFY IN THE FILEGATE SUIT BROUGHT BY JUDICIAL WATCH, MSNBC

“High-ranking individuals”? I’m sorry, I thought this was America.

“The press corps are savages.” — JAMES CARVILLE, ON THE MEDIA’S HAMMERING OF HILLARY CLINTON’S TALK INTERVIEW, IN THE WASHINGTON POST

It’s another wah!