Archive [March 2000]

“I can help others and do things and that’s what I want to do.” — BILL CLINTON TO JIM LEHRER, ON PBS’s “NEWSHOUR”

Noted.

“Many people say there’s a lot of agriculture but not many farmers, they’re not that many votes and they’re all Republican anyway. My answer is that I like to eat.” — HILLARY CLINTON, CAMPAIGNING AT THE VILLAGE HOUSE RESTAURANT (WHERE SHE HAD TWO BREAKFASTS AND NEGLECTED TO LEAVE A TIP FOR THE WAITRESS, A SINGLE MOM), QUOTED IN THE ALBION [NY] ADVERTISER

She really knows New York, doesn’t she?

“My attitude is I like to eat and we should support agriculture.” — HILLARY CLINTON, USING HER OFT-REPEATED LINE CAMPAIGNING IN ROCHESTER, MSNBC.COM

But don’t expect any tips.

“There has never been a time during this campaign when I have said something that I know to be untrue.” — AL GORE, DURING NEW HAMPSHIRE DEBATE, QUOTED IN THE BOSTON GLOBE

Lie #478.

“I’ll be on your side in the fight for a real increase in the minimum wage, an expanded earned-income tax credit for working families and equal pay for every woman in every job.” — HILLARY CLINTON, ANNOUNCEMENT SPEECH, QUOTED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES

But don’t expect any tips.

“I can’t convince anybody that I cared about the Yankees.” — HILLARY CLINTON, IN CHARLIE ROSE INTERVIEW, AP

The first honest thing she’s said all campaign.

“What was good about it [the impeachment] was that we protected and saved the Constitution.” — HILLARY CLINTON, IN CHARLIE ROSE INTERVIEW, AP

Kind of like destroying the village in order to save it.

“I think some of it is because of the positions that I’ve taken and maybe a little of it is because I’m a woman taking those positions. And, maybe some of it is people don’t like my hair style. I don’t know what it is.” — HILLARY CLINTON, ASKED WHY SHE EVOKES NEGATIVE REACTIONS FROM SOME VOTERS, QUOTED IN NEWSDAY

Or maybe you’re just a power-hungry no-talent, bent on control.

“Now that I’m a resident, I can share your pain.” — HILLARY CLINTON, DISCUSSING NEW YORK’S HIGH TAXES, QUOTED IN NEWSDAY

How do you spell relief? Just call b-e-i-j-i-n-g.

“I make a mean tossed salad.” — HILLARY CLINTON, FROM HER ANNOUNCEMENT FILM, SHOWN AT THE STATE UNIVERSITY OF NEW YORK AT PURCHASE, AP

I’ll bet you do!

“This is like any other product.” — ELLIS VERDI, OF DEVITO/VERDI, AD AGENCY FOR HILLARY CLINTON’S NEW YORK SENATE CAMPAIGN, ON HILLARY’S CANDIDACY, QUOTED IN U.S.NEWS & WORLD REPORT

What other product is a walking disaster?

“This is alarming. Can we take it [the legislation] back?” — SEN. JOHN BREAUX (D, LA), ON LEARNING THAT, SINCE PASSAGE OF A LAW IN 1998 INTENDED TO CURB IRS ABUSES, PROPERTY SEIZURES HAVE FALLEN 98 PERCENT, GARNISHMENTS ON WAGES AND BANK ACCOUNTS ARE DOWN 86 PERCENT, LIENS ON ASSETS DECLINED 69 PERCENT, AND TAX AUDITS HAVE FALLEN 40 PERCENT. QUOTED IN USA TODAY

Truly, a liberal tragedy.

“There is nothing that I have said in this campaign that is in any way mean-spirited.” — AL GORE, IN NEW HAMPSHIRE DEBATE

Yeah. And anyone who disagrees is just trying to take away Medicare.

“Braggadocio is a fairly common malady among politicians … I think he is just so damned competitive…” — ELEANOR CLIFT, EXPLAINING THE LONG LIST OF AL GORE’S LIES, WHICH SHE TERMED “SUCH MINOR STUFF,” ON “THE MCLAUGHLIN GROUP”

Competitive? Yeah, he’s neck-and-neck with Bill Clinton in the Whopper Olympics.

“We overestimate how liberal the press is … I think it’s just a myth that the press is all that liberal. I don’t believe it.” — EVAN THOMAS, OF NEWSWEEK, ON PBS’S “NEWSHOUR”

Send one of your crack investigative reporters to investigate.

“The prison-industrial complex.”— JESSIE JACKSON, SEEING A CONSPIRACY TO EXPEL BLACK STUDENTS SO THERE WILL BE INMATES TO POPULATE PRISONS THAT ARE BEING BUILT TO PROVIDE JOBS FOR WHITES, QUOTED IN THE [DECATUR, IL] HERALD & REVIEW

The Paranoid-delusional complex.

“If we put a detour sign between an idealistic young person and the urgings of his or her heart — a detour sign that says pay this loan off — then we are hurting our society.” — AL GORE, AT UNIVERSITY OF ROCHESTER, BEMOANING THE FACT THAT STUDENTS WITH DEBTS ARE FORCED TO CHOOSE JOBS BASED ON PAY, RATHER THAN ON HOW THEY CAN BENEFIT SOCIETY, QUOTED IN THE ROCHESTER NEWS

So now we’re hurting society when someone pays off his college loan!

“And here in Washington… we slip from honest difference which is healthy into dishonest demonization. We ignore when we’re … in a fight all those biblical admonitions we profess to believe … that with St. Paul we all do what we would not, and we do not do what we would.” — BILL CLINTON, AT NATIONAL PRAYER BREAKFAST, AP

Thus saith St. Bill.

”This is a special year for me because … I’m not coming back, at least in my present position.” — BILL CLINTON, AT NATIONAL PRAYER BREAKFAST, AP

Sounds like you’re going for the missionary position.

“I’d like to think I’m casting a little sunshine.” — BILL CLINTON, ON HIS COMMENTARY ON THE REPUBLICAN PRIMARY RACE, AP

You’re a regular furnace of global warming.

“We can’t change the world the way we want to unless we have more Democrats in both Houses.” — SEN. BARBARA BOXER, EXPLAINING WHY SHE LAUNCHED A POLITICAL ACTION COMMITTEE WEBSITE (WWW.CHANGETHECONGRESS.COM), QUOTED IN THE SAN FRANCISCO EXAMINER

Step one: Envision the world the way Democrats want. Step two: Vote Republican.

“We must do it to encourage China along the path of domestic reform, human rights, the rule of law and international cooperation.” — BILL CLINTON, IN LETTER, ASKING CONGRESS TO APPROVE A TRADE AGREEMENT WITH CHINA. QUOTED IN CHINA DAILY

Bill Clinton wants to encourage China to follow the rule of law! What a hoot!

“Basically, I want to try to be a good citizen.”— BILL CLINTON, ON HIS POST-PRESIDENCY PLANS, IN ONLINE INTERVIEW WITH CNN, REUTERS

Why start now?

“I feel like I have spent the last seven years turning the ship of state around and we are moving in the right direction.” — BILL CLINTON, FUNDRAISING IN CALIFORNIA, REUTERS

That’s what you tell all the interns.

“I could use something like that because I’m tied up in knots.” — BILL CLINTON, IN A CHAPPAQUA COFFEE SHOP, OFFERED A FREE MASSAGE BY JENNIFER COOK OF LIGHTEN UP MASSAGE THERAPY. ACCORDING TO THE BLONDE MS. COOK, “HE SEEMED VERY ENTHUSIASTIC.” QUOTED IN THE OAK LAWN [IL] REPORTER

Thank goodness we didn’t have to read about that in the Starr Report.