“The Difference Between Yams and Sweet Potatoes Is Structural Racism.” — Food & Wine Magazine

The difference between dumb and dumber is Food & Wine Magazine.

“Hunter Biden Says Psychedelic Toad Venom Kept Him Sober for a Year.” — The Washington Examiner

Chinese remedy?

“I spent more time on my hands and knees picking through rugs smoking anything that resembled crack cocaine. I probably smoked more Parmesan cheese than anyone you know.” —  Hunter Biden, quoted at Breitbart

That’s no gouda.

“Now look, I really don’t know, and the fact of the matter is, it’s a red herring. It is absolutely a red herring.” — Hunter Biden, on whether the infamous laptop is his, on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” quoted at The New York Post

And the fbi doesn’t fish for fishy Democrats.

“I know how proud you are of the people of Japan are. And you’ve got a Japanese boy coming over here, and guess what, he won the Masters.” — Joe Biden, to Japan’s Prime Minister, on 29-year-old golf champ Hideki Matsuyama, video via The Daily Caller

Stereotyping — “just Joe being Joe.”

“The way that I live my life is a direct support to black people, including my black family members.” — Patrisse Cullors, Black Lives Matter co-founder and self-described “trained Marxist,” explaining that her $3.2 million purchases of multiple upscale homes were for her family, bnc News

Preach socialism, but live like a rich capitalist. Freedom is a wonderful thing.

“ceos Lead America’s New Great Awakening: their political activism on behalf of voting rights will help bring about a spiritual revival.” — The Wall Street Journal, celebrating corporations boycotting Georgia

The left’s new theology: political activism on behalf of Democrat talking points.

“‘The pandemic has given us a trial run.’ Experts say the covid-19 pandemic has taught hard lessons that countries can use to tackle another major global crisis: climate change.” — cnn, on Twitter

In other words, kill economic growth by any means necessary. Tried and true socialism.

“Vice President Harris Is Making Her Mark on the Washington-Area Crochet Scene.” — The Washington Post, hyping Kommie’s hobby

Quite a yarn.

“We’ve run psas on ‘The Deadliest Catch,’ we’re engaged with nascar and ‘Country Music TV,’ we’re looking for a range of creative ways to get directly connected to white conservative communities.” — Jen Psaki, Biden press secretary, on their vaccine push, video via The Daily Caller

From the John Kerry “Can-I-get-me-a-huntin’-license-heeyah?” school of effete snob communications.

“I tell the kids, the young people that work for me — I told my kids, when I go on college campuses, they’re going to see more change in the next ten years than we’ve seen in the last fifty years. We’re going to talk about commercial aircraft flying at subsonic speeds, supersonic speeds, be able to figuratively, if you may, if we decide to do it, be able to traverse the world in an hour, travel at 21,000 miles an hour.” — Joe Biden, during an address on infrastructure legislation, predicting Mach 28 airflight although planes currently travel under Mach 1, Mediaite

First you should master traversing the aircraft access stairs.

“So the best way to get something done, if you, if you hold near and dear to you that you, uh, um, like to be able to — anyway.” — Joe Biden, news conference, video via Twitter

Anyway, hold onto your near and dear sentences.

“Biden Is Facing a Roosevelt Moment.” — op-ed, The Washington Post

The media covered for fdr’s disability, too.

“Biden’s Truman-esque Foreign Policy.” — op-ed, The Washington Post

Without Truman’s coherence, skill, or competence.

“No Amendment to the Constitution is absolute.” — Joe Biden, in gun control push, demeaning the Second Amendment, WhiteHouse.gov

Biden’s Xi-esque domestic policy.

“Did the Boulder shooting count as White male violence? Depends on how you define White.” — The Washington Post, after Ahmad Al Alawi Alissa, a Syrian Muslim immigrant, reportedly killed ten people in a Boulder, CO supermarket

Another White Hispanic?

“Can blood from young people slow aging? Silicon Valley has bet billions it will. Biotech startups are trying to hack the process of aging and, in the process, stave off the most devastating diseases.” — Newsweek, cover story: “Young Blood”

First it was aborted fetal cells. Now it’s “young blood.” Question this and you’re the conspiracy nut.

“There is racism physically built into some of our highways.” — Pete Buttigieg, Biden Transportation Secretary, quoted in The Washington Examiner

Mayor Pete finally reveals his secret road construction formula for South Bend, IN.

“Just gut check, stop. Anyone who’s using the term ‘surge’ around you consciously is trying to invoke a militaristic frame, and that’s a problem. Because this is not a ‘surge,’ these are children, and they are not insurgents.” — Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D, NY), on the border surge, confusing the derivations of the two words, video via Twitter

Will a coherent thought ever “surge” into this woman’s brain?

“You can’t be anti-racist if you’re anti student debt cancellation.” — Rep. Ayanna Pressley (D, MA), member of aoc’s “Squad,” on Twitter

What does that even mean?

“One-time survival checks don’t cut it when the bills haven’t stopped coming in every month. We need monthly, recurring, $2,000 survival checks.” — Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D, MI), member of aoc’s Squad, on Twitter

Why stop there? Why not $20,000?

“Whiteness is a public health crisis. It shortens life expectancies, it pollutes air, it constricts equilibrium, it devastates forests, it melts ice caps, it sparks (and funds) wars, it flattens dialects, it infests consciousnesses, and it kills people…” — Damon Young, “Whiteness Is a Pandemic,” Yahoo

The left’s “unity platform” in a nutshell.

“It’s not possible to know a person’s gender identity at birth, and there is no consensus criteria for assigning sex at birth.” — cnn news story, later slightly revised after much ridicule

Two guesses.

“There’s not a single thing a man can do that a woman can’t do as well or better. Not a single thing.” — Joe Biden, video via Twitter

Especially climb stairs, in your case.

“I wanted to yield to my Vice President, who’s smarter than I am.” — Joe Biden, video via Twitter

No argument there.

Photos: H. Biden ©2021 Shutterstock; Both J. Biden photos with stripe background: ©2021 Paul Miller/EPA/Shutterstock; J. Biden with earpiece: Andrew Harnik/AP/Shutterstock; Buttigieg: ©2021 Stefani Reynolds/POOL/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock; Harris: White House; Ocasio-Cortez: ©2021 John Minchillo/AP/Shutterstock; Pressley: ©2021 Elise Amendola/AP/Shutterstock; Psaki: ©2021 Andrew Harnik/AP/Shutterstock; Tlaib: ©2021 Andrew Harnick/AP/Shutterstock