Drone Gone Rogue

Robo-assassinations sound like a plot twist in a sci-fi movie, but now it has happened in real life. According to The New York Post, a predatory drone in Libya tracked down a human target in 2020 and attacked — by itself. The drone picked a target of its own “initiative,” without a human controller, confirming once again that the whole world knows what will inevitably happen — except the mad scientists who invent these things.

The Turkish-made Kargu-2 quadcopter drone was being used in a conflict between the Libyan military and a breakaway faction. According to the report, “The Kargu-2 is fitted with an explosive charge and the drone can be directed at a target in a kamikaze attack, detonating on impact.” But at the time, nobody directed it. The drone was functioning in “autonomous mode” that did not require a human operator. But, bammo.

No word on whether the target was injured. Experts assure us that as far as they know, this is the first time a drone has done this. But every sentient being knows — including newly sentient attack drones — it won’t be the last.

Equal Dummies

Rep. Eleanor Holmes Norton (D, DC) says crash-test dummies need to be liberated from male domination. According to Fox News, “Federal researchers use only male crash-test dummies, and carmakers face no legal requirement to use both male and female dummies.” Rep. Norton aims to fix that, bringing gender equity to crash-testing via legislation. She tweeted: “Female car crash victims are 73 percent more likely to experience serious injury or death than males. This is about more than differences in average height — there are other anatomical differences between males and females that affect how bodies react in a crash.”

Well, that is offensively binary. Rep. Norton needs to develop the proper woke-ism. What if the crash-test dummies she’s referring to actually identify as gender-fluid birthing person dummies? Who is she to argue?

Robo-Flipper

After years of targeting zoos and circuses, environmentalist wackos have now been vilifying dolphin shows at marine theme parks. What to do about the families who still want to watch ocean-world shows, but without guilt about “mammal shows with captive animals”? Enter the robot dolphin. Developed by Edge Innovations, this animatronic version can swim like a real Flipper, and interact with children and performers in a marine show. As abc reports: “Edge Innovations claims to provide a new form of marine entertainment that focuses on sustainability and being kind to the environment.”

Since government regulations hamper the breeding and transportation of captive marine animals, fake dolphins could help the marine park industry. At $26 million each, they better. Says designer Roger Holzberg, “Real-time animatronics give us the opportunity to create free-swimming animals in all shapes and sizes, to behave like their real-life counterparts.” Inevitably next: free-swimming liberal-bots, to scold the crowds for enjoying themselves.

Emperor’s New Art

And now the deal you’ve been waiting for. Eager collectors bid farewell to sanity at Italian auction house Art-Rite, as they bid on a sculpture made of … nothing. Bupkus. Air. Art News has the goods on this “sculpture,” which is invisible. “It is a work that asks you to activate the power of the imagination,” artist Salvatore Garau declared. And the power of his wallet, which is $18,300 richer after the auction for his “immaterial sculpture” made of zip, zero, nada. The artiste explains: “It finds form in its own nothingness.”

This isn’t the only nonexistent sculpture that Garau has hawked. His Buddha in Contemplation, which is just a taped square on cobblestones, is “installed” in Milan. His Afrodite Cries is a white circle about the same size as the nearby manholes in front of the New York Stock Exchange. In Garau’s PR video, a cgi image of a classical goddess sculpture blips for a split second within the circle, so dupes online think they see what Garau says is there. Plenty of commenters put in their two cents after viewing this, but one poster wins the day: “I already stole this sculpture along with the rest of the invisible collection.”

Illustrations ©2021 Allison Smith for The Limbaugh Letter; Equal Dummies photomontage by The Limbaugh Letter; Capitol building ©2021 Shutterstock/Dennis Diatel; Crash test Dummy ©2021 iStock Photo/Eduard Harkonen; Emperor’s New Art pedestal photo ©2021 Shutterstock/Sofirnaja, Sold stamp: ©2021 Shutterstock/Aquir