Archive [May 1999]

Plastic Handout

If the latest cockamamie liberal notion from California takes hold, San Francisco homeless could soon be high-tech panhandlers — and take plastic. Under a proposal now actually being considered, the homeless would he given machines to “swipe” — the operative word here — donations from Visa, American Express or bank ATM cards. I kid you not.

Karen Gatter, who came up with this dumb idea, which she calls “the Benevolending Box Program,” says eighty percent of each contribution would go to community homeless programs; the rest would go to the panhandler. Kind of a beggar’s commission. Or kickback, as the case may be.

One teeny weeny detail — credit card security — hasn’t been worked out yet. Not to worry! Gatter told The San Francisco Examiner, “What we’re looking at is creating a means for homeless people to sustain themselves.” Mayor Willie Brown said he was “excited about this innovative plan, which empowers homeless persons to take responsible action for their lives.”

Excuse me, but how are they sustaining themselves? Other people — the ones with the credit cards — are sustaining them. And the homeless aren’t taking responsible action — they’re taking money! But to liberals, that is a job.

What a card

If Bill Clinton wants an early read on how history will assess him, all he has to do is head into a local stationery store. There squarely sits his legacy, in the humorous birthday card section. The biggest seller for Recycled Paper Greetings: Bill, in a tuxedo “Another birthday? You look fantastic!” Inside: “Hey … Have I ever lied to you?” There’s also one with a serious looking Clinton: “It’s your birthday and I want you to know, I would never ask anyone to lie for me.” Flip the card: “On me, yes … for me, no…” There are even Hillary cards, such as “The calendar says you’re another year older.” Open: “Well,” Hillary says, “I just refuse to believe it!”

This pair, the smartest couple who ever lived, the most brilliant politicians who ever trod the soil, are universally understood by the public: Liar and sidekick dupe. People get it — and just refuse to take the Clintons seriously. So many of you, I know, wanted a different reaction: you wanted outrage, and anger. But Americans are too busy laughing at them.