Archive [May 2000]

And now the latest from the land of the living brain-dead. The Clinton Administration, which for nearly eight years has actually believed that it “runs” the American economy, is working its dark arts on the U.S high-tech industry.

Fresh from her child immigrant hunt in Miami, and her successful evisceration of Big Tobacco and the gun industry, the Attorney General is mad at work developing her formula to personally run the computer industry.

First incantation: divide and conquer Microsoft … if she must sacrifice the Dow, so be it. After all, why should those peasant stockholders be allowed to have so much? If anyone is going to create and manage wealth, from now on it’s going to be Master — I mean, Mistress Reno.

Meanwhile, sidekick Algore, inventor of the internet, is tinkering with spells to solve the “digital divide.” Oh, the humanity! Having spent eight long years slaving in tunnels, wiring schools to the net, he cannot end the horror — that some people have computers, and other people don’t. When will we awake from this nightmare?

Answer: In November.