It was a gift for the ages. Geriatric ages. When they met for their yawn-fest Geneva “summit” in June, Joe Biden gave his pal Vlad Putin a pair of his famous aviator shades — which the news media continually swoon over, believing they make Biden look cool and hot at the same time.

GQ once ran a feature article, “Where to Buy Joe Biden’s Signature Aviators,” burbling that “Ray-Bans have been Biden’s go-to sunnies since he was a teenager and have become shorthand for Joe himself.” Sparing us the longhand for himself, which probably involves sniffing. Ugh.

For the Vlad summit, Time magazine put Aviator Joe on the cover, with the Russian’s face reflected on both lenses. “taking on putin,” Time touted. Well, only if the how-to is on Biden’s note cards.

But Biden’s ubiquitous cheat sheets get little media scrutiny. Because as with coverage of his ice cream outings, Joe gets nothing but tongue baths.

The mirrored specs (“customized with a Joe Biden signature on the right lens and inside the temple,” according to AP) were a fitting present for the Russian leader, who had just thrown shade at Biden by guffawing after Joe called him a “killer” in an abc interview. That chuckle, translated from the original Slavic, meant: “Better believe it, comrade — do svidaniya.”

At his next press conference, Joe tried to one-up Vladimir by mirthlessly laughing back at him, but he then glitched, frozen at the mic, for an awkward pause that seemed to last as long as falling up a jet gangway. Like everything else Biden does, it was pure cringe.

Meanwhile, Putin may as well be the eye of Biden’s shriveled soul, steering potus 46 wherever he pleases. The Russian is calling all the shots and getting everything he wants. After four years of being manhandled by Alpha Male Trump, Putin is puttin’ on a master class of dementia-patient manipulation. Surpassed only by the shrewd control (courtesy of Parmesan Hunter) from Xi Jinping.

Before Biden even got to Geneva, he had already done Putin’s bidding, knocking America down several pegs energy-wise, shuttering the Keystone XL crude oil pipeline and removing Trump’s sanctions against Russia’s Nord Stream 2 gas pipeline to Germany — an enormous boon to Putin’s economic power. Donald Trump had effectively held Putin in check, though the media portrayed the Russian as Trump’s puppeteer-in-chief. The actual puppet is Joe Biden — who, in a huge advantage to Putin, also nixed Trump’s lethal aid arsenal to help Ukraine defend itself from Russia. Until last January, withholding Ukrainian aid was an impeachable offense. Now? Meh. Look into the aviators and feel the joy.

Before leaving, Biden weirdly handed Vlad “a list of 16 U.S. sectors that must not be attacked.” The media prostrated themselves, calling the lame Biden-Putin meetup the most successful diplomatic mission of the century. But less than a month later, Russia reportedly engaged in a “major cyberattack” on 1,000 American companies. Were any of those on Biden’s “don’t-touch” list? Who knows! “Investigative journalists” aren’t investigating.

Reporters did ask Biden about the attack in the middle of a Biden ice cream run, but he was too confused and overwhelmed to do more than fumble in his jacket for his briefing notes and croak, “We’re not sure it’s the Russians.” Biden has since done nothing in response but bluster.

In Moscow, Vladimir Putin smirks behind his shades.

Illustration ©2021 William Lesniewski for The Limbaugh Letter