Archive [March 2000]

Ve Haff Files

What were California taxpayers told about Proposition 99, which raised cigarette taxes 25 cents a pack in 1988? They were told that the Prop 99 tax would go to pay for information campaigns on smoking and health. Californians were assured that the money would be used for smoking prevention programs, hospitals and physician services, and tobacco-related disease research.

Well, that’s not exactly what the Americans for Nonsmokers’ Rights Foundation, an “advocacy group” based in Berkeley, California, has been doing — although the group has been awarded in excess of $1.2 million in taxpayer money in yearly grants. According to The Los Angeles Daily News, records show that the top priority of this “foundation” has been collecting info on people who it believes are secretly working for Big Tobacco.

Americans for Nonsmokers’ Rights have been busy keeping track of people who have spoken on tobacco issues at city council meetings throughout California. They also investigated a federal judge in North Carolina who issued a ruling on secondhand smoke. With California taxpayer money. In other words, they were compiling an enemies list.

Jon Coupal, president of the Howard Jarvis Taxpayers Association, pointed out that “taxpayers are actually financing an abuse of government power.” He noted that the enemies list was “smacking of Gestapo tactics.”

What do you expect from anti-smoking Nazis?

Ve Haff More Files

Remember when I warned you about “hate crime” laws? Some of you — and you know who you are — thought I was off my rocker when I predicted that this could lead to an attack on free speech.

Well, get this. In Laguna Beach, California, police are going to maintain a database of people who use “hateful language.” It all started last November, according to The Orange County Register, when a Los Angeles man complained that Laguna police turned him away after he tried to report anti-gay remarks shouted at him by a car-load of people. The man said the remarks left him scared and that police were insensitive to him.

So Laguna Police Chief James Spreine decided to start documenting “hate speech.” Spreine says, “It is not too far-fetched to believe that people who are entertained by yelling profanity and hate-style comments at gay or minority group “members may also have a tendency toward more physical attacks.” He added that police think the documentation of hateful incidents may identify suspects and help solve some hate crimes. This is not a defense of idiots who yell remarks from cars. It is not a defense of insults towards anyone, anywhere. But a police database of things people say?

What’s next — a police file of your jokes? A list of books you’ve read? Who you listen to on the radio?

PUT SOME ICE ON IT

Bill Clinton has just signed a bill that toughens federal laws and prison sentences for possession of a powerful “date rape” drug. A few drops of the colorless, odorless drug, gamma hydroxybutyrate acid (GHB), can be slipped into a drink, rendering someone unconscious within 20 minutes. Victims often have no memory of what happened to them. The drug leaves the body within 24 hours, making it difficult to trace.

Under the legislation, the Justice Department is ordered to classify GHB as a Schedule I substance, making it one of the most strictly regulated drugs in the United States. Anyone possessing, manufacturing or distributing GHB could face a 20-year prison term.

The President signed it into law under the title of “The Hillary J. Farias and Samantha Reid Date-Rape Prohibition Act,” in honor of two teenage victims of the drug.

I think we can call it the Juanita Broaddrick Act.

Only Outlaws Will Have Guns

Lauren Santibanez is a talented high school senior who would like to take an Olympic gold medal back home to San Diego someday. But to the government of California, Lauren may soon be a criminal.

You see, Lauren Santibanez is the California Junior Olympic sport pistol champion. And under a new California state law, the custom-made, finely crafted competition pistol (a German-manufactured Walther, 22-caliber) Lauren has used to win Junior Olympic championships, U.S. National championships, and International Junior World championships is considered an assault weapon.

On Jan. 1, 2000, her specialized instrument technically became an illegal firearm. And so have tens of thousands of other pistols and rifles used in competitive shooting throughout California, due to the placement of the magazine.

As reported by The San Diego Union-Tribune, the law places Lauren’s father and shooting coach, Sandy Santibanez, in an impossible position. If Lauren’s gun is not registered by Jan. 1, 2001, she will be guilty of a misdemeanor. A second offense is a felony. But if her father does register the gun, it would become illegal for Lauren to shoot it. He explains, “I would be an adult giving her an assault weapon. Suddenly we are both breaking the law.” It would take an act of the state legislature to waive Lauren Santibanez’s registration requirement.

You’d think a potential Olympic gold medalist would get some sympathy from the law’s author, wouldn’t you? Well, actually you wouldn’t, because he’s a liberal. State Sen. Don Perata, Democrat from Oakland, sniffs, “She may be better off living in Texas.”

Lauren’s lather notes that “This takes the hopes away from some young people who had dreams of making the Olympics.” But of course it does. Liberalism doesn’t discriminate. It takes hopes and dreams away from all achievers.

Felons’ Gig

Webster “You Can India My Cat” Hubbell served his time and is out of his halfway house — but for some reason he’s had trouble finding work. So he has signed on with a Columbus, Ohio speakers’ bureau called “the Pros and the Cons.” According to The Washingtonian magazine, the group “rents out ex-felons to speak to organizations.” One recent Hubbell speech (to a group of accountants, believe it or not] was entitled: “Don’t Practice Your Way Into Jail.”

Perhaps not surprisingly, things haven’t been going as well as the Clintons’ former henchman may have hoped. You see, there’s tough competition: a lot of other famous D.C. felons command high speaking fees. Hubbell is taking in just $1,500 an appearance.

Someone tell James Riady! He’ll want to help.

Cleanup Woman

A funny thing happened on the way to the Kosovo peace process. Late one night, during negotiations last year in Rambouillet, France, Secretary of State Madeleine Albright walked into the room of the Albanian delegation. But the Albanians didn’t recognize Madam Secretary. Albanian diplomat Dugagjin Gorani told BBC television that one member of the delegation told her, “Give us five minutes … please go away.” Apparently, they mistook Ms. Albright for a hotel cleaning lady. Whereupon Albright reportedly exploded in rage. According to Veton Surroi, a member of the Albanian delegation, Albright started using language which interpreters were unable to translate into Albanian.

This was clearly a case of mistaken identity. The Albanians must have had her confused with the real White House cleanup woman: Janet Reno.

In any case, I don’t know why the Secretary of State would get herself worked up about someone saying, “Give us five minutes … please go away.” It was obviously a tribute to her Commander-in-Chief. Isn’t that what he usually says when women enter his hotel room?