Archive [December 1999]

“Thousands of American nuclear bombs are on hair-trigger alert, poised to launch at a moment’s notice. It’s insane and it’s immoral.”— MARTIN SHEEN, ACTOR, IN ANTI-NUKE COMMERCIAL SPONSORED BY DISARMAMENT GROUP OUTRAGED BY THE SENATE’S REJECTION OF THE COMPREHENSIVE TEST BAN TREATY, QUOTED IN THE WASHINGTON TIMES

Shut up, sir. American weapons have kept the peace for 50 years. Make yourself useful: go tell China and Russia how insane and immoral their nukes are.

“If we were being attacked by space aliens we wouldn’t be playing these kinds of games.” — BILL CLINTON, CRITICIZING CONGRESSIONAL REPUBLICANS DURING BUDGET NEGOTIATIONS, AP

We’d just return James Camille to the Mothership.

“It’s not their money. If they don’t want the money, they don’t have to take it. If they’re offended by it, they can give it to other states and other school districts.”— BILL CLINTON, TELLING REPORTERS THAT THE FEDERAL MONEY FOR NEW TEACHERS DOES NOT BELONG TO STATES AND LOCAL SCHOOL DISTRICTS, QUOTED IN THE WASHINGTON POST

Whose money is it?

“If I am the first black President, and the first President to have a Hispanic soul, I’m afraid they’ll never let me go home to Ireland.” — BILL CLINTON, AT A DNC HISPANIC DINNER IN WASHINGTON, D.C.

We’ll put in a good word for you.

“Now, you know, I once had a lifetime membership in the NRA. I even got my jacket there. I’m sure they revoked it somewhere now.” — BILL CLINTON, AT A DNC FUNDRAISER IN ATLANTA. THE NRA HAS NO RECORD OF CLINTON’S MEMBERSHIP, QUOTED IN THE WASHINGTON TIMES

Oh, sure. And you’re a charter member of the Christian Coalition.

“I hope the people as we get nearer to election time will realize that the Democrats are the people that will save the environment, that will give them clean air to breathe and clean water to drink…” — BARBRA STREISAND, ON NBC’s “ROSIE O’DONNELL SHOW”

… and take away their brains.

“A fist fight is different from a knife fight is different from a gun fight is different from a rape is different from a drug bust.” — JESSE JACKSON, IN DECATUR, IL, DEFENDING STUDENTS EXPELLED FOR STARTING A RIOT AT A FOOTBALL CAME, MSNBC

A thug is a thug.

“I bring the kind of mind that not only has listened to many, many women, and can bring, I hope with some nuance, along with the many other women from the women’s community who are talking to Al Gore, that Al Gore’s reaching out to, a very committed sense of the issues and concerns that women are looking at.” — NAOMI WOLF, GORE ADVISOR, ON ABC’s “THIS WEEK”

Oh, that kind of mind.

“I don’t have to win to be complete as a human being.” — AL GORE, AFTER THE DEMOCRAT DEBATE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE, QUOTED IN THE BOSTON GLOBE

Good thing.

“I understand the disappointment and anger you feel towards President Clinton. I feel it myself.” — AL GORE, DURING NEW HAMPSHIRE DEBATE, QUOTED IN THE BOSTON HERALD

Watch yourself — the Buddhist nuns will cut you off.

“Anybody from a Democratic campaign that orders pizza from Pizza Hut is a traitor. If I hear of anybody doing it at the White House, I’m going to try and get them fired … I’m just going negative on Pizza Hut.” — JAMES CARVILLE, AFTER THE RESTAURANT CHAIN PRODUCED A COMMERCIAL MOCKING HILLARY CLINTON’S NEW YORK SENATE CANDIDACY, QUOTED IN THE WASHINGTON POST

The next wah!

“Well, if she doesn’t, she’s going to look so stupid and silly…” — ED KOCH, FORMER NEW YORK CITY MAYOR, DISCUSSING WHETHER HILLARY CLINTON WILL RUN, ON CNN’s “LARRY KING LIVE”

Too late.

“The best gift I can give the American people now is to do my best to make sure that they know that the person I love most in the world is without any doubt the ablest, most passionate, most committed, most visionary public servant I have ever known.” — BILL CLINTON, INTRODUCING HILLARY CLINTON AT HER BROADWAY BIRTHDAY BASH, ON “CBS THIS MORNING”

No, thanks.

“They will say I made a bad personal mistake, I paid a serious price for it, but that I was right to stand and fight for my country and my Constitution and its principles…” — BILL CLINTON, TO CAROLE SIMPSON, ON HOW HISTORY WILL JUDGE HIM, ABC NEWS

From Bill Clinton’s Constitution: “The right to receive a Lewinsky shall not be abridged.”

“Sculpture is a big part of our relationship.” — HILLARY CLINTON, HOSTING A “STROLL” THROUGH THE WHITE HOUSE’S PRIVATE COLLECTION FOR A CABLE NETWORK, EXPLAINING THAT THE SCULPTURES REMIND HER OF HER EARLY COURTSHIP WITH BILL CLINTON, QUOTED IN THE WASHINGTON TIMES

Oh, so that’s what it is.

“Because she is a part of the President. She stood by him. She is a Clinton. She’s smart; she’s intelligent; she’s articulate. And she’s pretty. And I would see why a whole lot of pretty ladies might have reservations about it.” — REP. CHARLES RANGEL (D, NY), ON WHY HILLARY CLINTON IS EITHER LOVED OR HATED, ON CNN’s “LARRY KING LIVE”

Hmmm. The liberal mind at work.

“I was in northern California the other night, meeting with people who work for eBay. Do you all ever use eBay? Buy anything on eBay? You want to hear something interesting? Over 20,000 Americans now make a living on eBay — not working for eBay: trading on eBay, many of them, former welfare recipients.” — BILL CLINTON, AT A DNC HISPANIC DINNER IN WASHINGTON, D.C., U.S. NEWSWIRE

The Clinton information superhighway: Microsoft, bad; eBay, good.

“My wife Tipper understands what it means to be a young army wife living on a private’s pay in a house trailer on the outskirts of an unfamiliar army post where the helicopters sometimes blew her laundry off the clothesline.” — AL GORE, AT THE IOWA VETERANS HOME, QUOTED IN THE HOTLINE

Talk about courage!

“There is an American company that perhaps some of you have used, called eBay, and it’s basically a place on the Internet where you can buy anything. It’s like a great international market on the internet. There are now over 20,000 people, including a lot of people who are on welfare, who are making a living on eBay — making a living on eBay.” — BILL CLINTON, AT THE THIRD WAY CONFERENCE IN FLORENCE, ITALY, WHITE HOUSE TRANSCRIPT

How can anyone know whether someone using eBay is on welfare? This is pathological, folks.

“She is both a role model and an untouchable icon … One thing, though, is for sure: Hillary Clinton has no need to hire Naomi Wolf. She’s already a pure-bred alpha.” — HELEN SCHARY MOTRO, WRITER, IN THE PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER

No argument there.

“That’s not for me to judge … I’m probably one of the least qualified people in America to pass judgment on the alleged credibility, or lack thereof, of some other candidate.” — AL GORE, ASKED WHETHER DONALD TRUMP IS A “CREDIBLE POLITICAL CANDIDATE,” ON CBS’s “EARLY SHOW”

Algore swerves into the truth.

“This is a crazy question … Why are you asking me this question?” — BILL CLINTON, WHEN NEWSWEEK COLUMNIST JONATHAN ALTER ASKED HIM WHETHER AS EX-PRESIDENT HE MIGHT SEEK PSYCHIATRIC THERAPY, QUOTED IN THE WASHINGTON POST

The Patient is often the last to know.