Archive [November 1999]

White House Spanking

Déjà vu — the Clinton Administration is demonizing pharmaceutical companies again. The New York Times reports: “The Clinton administration summoned six drug company executives to the White House … and reprimanded them for running advertisements critical of President Clinton’s plan to offer prescription drug benefits to everyone on Medicare.”

Did you catch that? These executives were “summoned.” Has kind of a Chi-Com ring to it, doesn’t it? They were “reprimanded.” How dare they criticize The Great Leader’s prescription drug giveaway plan! Here’s the crime: The drug companies are running ads. Sort of like the “Harry and Louise ‘ commercials the Clintons hated in 1993. In the new ads an elderly character named “Flo” says: “The White House plan puts bureaucrats in charge of our medicines.”

At that, the White House went ballistic. Chris Jennings, the President’s “health policy coordinator,” complained: “These ads are false, misleading, inaccurate, unfair and destructive. Also absurd and ridiculous. Any time we talk to the pharmaceutical industry, we critique these ads. We relay our dis-may. We also encourage the drug companies to re-engage in a more constructive manner and address the real problems of seniors and people with disabilities who need drug coverage.” Translation: Bend over and grab the ankles.

The six companies are worried. “We would all like to avoid Armageddon,” said one executive. “We’re smart enough to know that if we go to war with the Administration, both sides will lose.” Hate to break it to you, sir, but this Administration has been at war with you for seven years.

Clipper Danger

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports that seven-year-old Lamont Agnew has been suspended from school — for bringing toenail clippers to school. The second-grader’s mother, Terika Box, has protested to school officials, insisting that her son is not a threat to the other elementary students at Huffman School in Cahokia, IL. “This shocked the mess out of me,” she said. “My son has never been in trouble. My son would never harm another child.”

Although officials won’t comment on the case, administrator Jana Bechtoldt explained to the paper that the district has adopted a strict no-weapons policy. According to Illinois law, a student can be expelled for up to two years for possession of a weapon. “Nail clippers may qualify as a weapon,” says Bechtoldt, “If they include things such as knife blades or can openers or something that could cause physical harm to another person.”

Well, there you have it. Ms. Box admits that the clippers her son took to school contained a 1 5/8-inch-long nail file! Clearly, we need more clipper control laws. We need a five-day waiting period for the purchase of toenail clippers — complete with background checks. And please, before it’s too late: we must require clipper safety locks. Our children’s future hangs in the balance.

Fat Tax

See, I told you so: I have been predicting this for years. Last month when “obesity experts” gathered in Washington for a conference, they declared obesity a “ticking time bomb” in the health care system. “This is a national emergency,” said Judith S. Stem, a professor of nutrition at the University of California at Davis and vice president of the American Obesity Association. And here’s the kicker the experts claimed that “the cost” of treating health problems related to obesity is $100 billion a year.

Watch out, folks. As soon as you hear some product or condition costs “society” anything in the billions, hold on to your wallets. Remember tobacco?

And sure enough, as I have been warning you would happen, this bunch of busybodies actually seriously proposed that we tax high-fat foods.

But that’s not all. Knight-Riddet reports: “Stern said her organization will push Congress for a fivefold increase in funding for obesity research at the National Institutes of Health, which now spends $103 million on it each year.” The bottom line: you, the Taxpayer, will be supporting even more “obesity research” — in effect, paying groups like hers to lobby for this new tax! What a racket.

Pain in the Neck

If you woke up this morning not yet convinced you’re a victim, just wait. Now there’s a new danger: leaning your head into a salon sink for a shampoo.

Researchers at the New Jersey Medical School in Newark say people with neck problems who frequently visit the beauty parlor risk developing a condition which they call Salon Sink Radiculopathy. I kid you not. You could pinch a nerve. Pain specialists have diagnosed nearly a dozen patients with the problem in the last few months. “This is a newly recognized phenomenon,” says Dr. Patrick Foye. “Experts” recommend padding the sink edge with towels, or having your hair washed face down.

Or, you could just stay home. All the time.